Ball Hogs Have Problems Hogging the Ball

(For Immediate Release)

Pismo Beach, CA -  There was another sold out crowd gathered at Judkins Arena tonight to watch LEVEL continue their quest for basketball glory.  However, it was apparent that some members of the crowd were confused when entering the arena.  There was a rumor afloat that the gym was hosting a modeling shoot.  The confusion was quickly cleared up when they realized that they were here to see a shooting model.

Kasey “Do They Call This a Zone” came out of the gates with a hot hand, knocking down long range jump shots early and often to give LEVEL a comfortable lead.  It was quickly apparent that the zone defense featured by the Ball Hogs was not up to the task of stopping the high octane LEVEL offense.  Getting into the zone-busting action in the first half were Tom “Chief Executive Offender” and Troy “I Miss My Beard.”  When LEVEL did miss its outside shots, Aaron “The Rebound Baron” was there to clean up the mess.

In the second half, LEVEL showed why some are calling them the best defensive team the league has seen since the late 80s.  The defensive effort was spearheaded by the pestering 30-something backcourt defense of Paul “I Just Took Your Wallet” and Miguel “I Just Took Your Pride.”  A number of steals by the two guards led to easy points on the other end, proving once again that good defense leads to a better offense.  The tough LEVEL defense led to some frustration on the part of the Ball Hogs, causing the Ball Hogs to set a handful of illegal screens late in the game then went uncalled by the referees.  Hank “The Pulsating Forehead Vein” Wethington let it be known that LEVEL did not appreciate the illegality, leading to a quick apology from the Ball Hogs.

Miguel capped off his MVP night by feeding a fastbreak alley-oop pass to Phil “I Believe I Can Fly” that brought the crowd to its feet and the Ball Hogs to their knees.

“When Miguel threw the ball up to me, I didn’t have much time to decide between my 360 and my windmill dunk,” explained Phil.  “I decided to go with my windmill.  Judging by the crowd’s reaction, I made the right choice.”  To see more high-flying antics, you can catch LEVEL play the Stuntmen next week.
(AP)

(For Immediate Release)

Oceano, CA -  The stands were abuzz at the Oceano Arena as LEVEL took to the floor to open the second half of the season. After losing Justin to post high school enlightenment, there were concerns that mid-season acquisition Paul’s skills didn’t quite fit the current team dynamic, and like the Miami Heat, it may be a few years before LEVEL could find it’s way back to the championship game. However, it took all of 5 minutes for LEVEL to get a return on their investment as Paul led a fast break off of a defensive steal that started the “REPEAT” rally cry.

While Paul and Miguel shared the point guard duties, Kasey was free to slash and burn his way to the basket where he mopped up whatever Splash Down could dish out. Kasey’s offensive dominance clearly made the case tonight why he’s considered the favorite for this years MVP. Not to be forgotten, Miguel quietly ended up with the play of the night; a no-look pass to an open Paul for 3. Replays were still playing on the arena jumbo-tron as the crowds left the building.

Defensively, LEVEL has to be happy. The starting five should be called “Fort Knox” as Splash Down didn’t get their first field goal until almost 5 minutes into the game. Aaron continues to frustrate the leagues big men as he vacuums up rebounds while dealing out blocked shots, while Tom smothers opposing players causing turn overs and bad shots.

With so many highlights from the starting five, it would be easy to dismiss LEVELs bench. 6th Man of the Year candidate, Phil killed it tonight with fast break after fast break point.  Meanwhile, “Wolf pack of One” Troy scares and pesters the opposing team into mistakes while grabbing any rebounds that Aaron leaves behind.

“Sure, this first win is important, but we need all of them to get back to the championship game,” noted Tom. “It was a good game, right now we need to focus on next weeks game, nothing more.” For next weeks game, LEVEL faces the Ball Hogs.

(AP)

(For Immediate Release)

Arroyo Grande, CA -  There was no full moon tonight, but the wolf pack was hungry for a win against the Pine Riders.   Steven came out blazing,  making 6 straight points to quickly put Level in the lead.  Kasey, Miguel, and Tom continued to add points to keep the Pine Riders at bay.   Aaron “AirWolf”  crashed the boards to keep Pine Riders from getting any second shot opportunities.  Ryan and Hank both put in solid minutes on offense and defensive to continue the Level lead.

With 10 minutes left of the first half, Level put in their secret defensive weapon Troy “Wolfman” to shut down the Pine Riders offensive weapons. The second half continued like the first half and the Pine Riders was never able to make a comeback.   The game was put out of reach when Phil “Get my money right”  completed a fast break lay-up sending the sell-out crowd to their feet.

Level 61  Pine Riders 52

Level’s record goes to 4-1.

Getty images of Troy “Wolfman”

(For Immediate Release)

Arroyo Grande, CA – It’s like a recurring bad nightmare – complete with the cold sweat. After an undefeated three game start, LEVEL took a step back in time, channeling the LEVEL basketball teams of old. “All that practice don’t mean a thing if I can’t put the ball through the ring,” commented Hank “Dr. Suess” Wethington on his 2 for 8 shooting night. “It was cloudy, but didn’t rain, we were supposed to bring the pain.”

Missing key starters Justin (springbreakitis), Tom (travel toe), and backup center Ryan (worklonghourus) tonight, meant key minutes for the reserves. But the reserves didn’t deliver. “Sure, we missed our starters out there tonight,” said a frustrated Kasey, “we just missed the basket more.”

Bright spots for LEVEL included some good minutes from “Wolfpack” Troy, who once again scared the opposing team into key turnovers, and “I’m on vacation” Phil whose continued leadership kept the game close.

The screaming fans didn’t give up hope, even until the last second. “It was more fun than watching reruns of COPS!” said Michelle. “Not quite as good as Jersey Shore, but it was still a good time.”

Tickets are still available for next weeks game against the Pine Riders.

(AP)

(For Immediate Release)

Pismo Beach, CA – With the fog setting in over the coast and the sun going down, two of the top teams clashed in Pismo Beach for sole possession of first place in the Arroyo Grande men’s league. With someone consuming large amounts of garlic for lunch, the starting 5 contemplated if they were going to be able to take the court with the awful stench that was emitted during warm ups.

In front of a crowd with standing room available, LVL and Splash Down started out in a shootout, with Tom scoring the first 5 points of the game to match Splash Downs fire from behind the arc. The intensity continued to rise, with the game growing more and more physical. Splash Down was taken by surprise when player/coach Hank ripped off his suit and tie and checked into the game. Confusion by Splash Down’s team ensued and led for open offensive opportunities for LVL. Elbows the the face, jabs to the gut, and technical fouls fueled the fire for LVL to hold a comfortable lead after the 10 min mark.

With 3 seconds left on the clock in the first half, Justin threw a 3/4 court alley-oop from out of bounds to Kasey… the ball ended of getting wedged in between the basket and the backboard for a jump ball call but the play drew some more momentum for LVL going into halftime. Kasey injured his shoulder on the rim during the play but x-rays were negative.

Justin Drives to the Hoop

The second half proved to be an even tougher battle, but LVL kept its commanding lead with Aaron and Ryan dominating the boards down low. Around the mid-way point of the second half, Splash Down’s attempt to chisel away at the lead was extinguished when Miguel whittled his way into the lane for a couple jumpers and a finger roll off the glass. Phil, Greg and Troy came off the bench and put in solid minutes to secure the victory in the final minutes.

When the lights tuned off and the crowd went away, LVL availed to extend the Central Coast’s longest men’s league winning streak to 13 games, and notched its 3rd win the of the season.

The “Wolfpack” rallies on.