But then came kids. Heather and I decided a long time ago, in an internet world that only existed on computers, that we would not allow computers to be in the bedrooms. Keep it public was our idea. Minimize the potential for misuse and exploitation. Back when I was running the forums for SAF, a member of the group, who was just a teen at the time, talked about being grounded due to porn. “If my parents don’t want me looking at porn, they shouldn’t let me have a computer in my room.” Forget about all the personal responsibility issues present in that statement, and think about what you would do to prevent misuse for your kid. His comment spurred our desire for a public computer only. At the time, it was easy for us, because, back then, the computer was also the entertainment center sitting in the middle of the living room.

Fast forward to today. Now the internet and all it’s good and bad are available from just about any electronic device. iPad/iPod Touch/iPhone, any smartphone, Nintendo DS, PSP, etc… Where does one draw the line? Making sure the kids have adequate access to computer resources, I haven’t been shy it getting them laptops. Hayden is using the Hackitosh that I got a while back. Harrison was recently upgraded to Heather’s old MacBook. Heather of course has her own laptop and work is kind enough to me to provide me a laptop so I can work extra hours from home. Then there’s still the computer hooked to the TV. So if I say “no computers in the bedrooms (NCiTB),” it seems simple, but how does that work?

By using the decree of NCitB, I think I’m protecting my kids. However, I’ve just also said, that your room’s can’t be used for homework. OK, we can deal. But that doesn’t say no internet in the rooms, which is really the goal. Does the ban extend to the iPod, the DS, or what ever the future holds for internet connected devices? Does this mean that when Harrison gets his first phone, he can’t use it in his room? Facebook and the bullying that can come along with it, google images, even video, are all easily accessible from any internet connected device.

I do my best to protect my kids. To make sure they have the tools to succeed in life, as well as how to know good from bad, but the internet is a beast that the rules of yesterday just don’t apply to. What are your plans? How are you handling this with your kids? I’d love to know.

The idea was to invite some men in Harrison’s life to come and  share with him their opinion of what it means to be a man, information on becoming a man, responsibilities of being a man, etc. Each of the guys came prepared to speak for about 5 minutes. They were all awesome. In talking to Harrison tonight, he was very touched and couldn’t stop talking about it. Here’s what I shared with him:

Esquire published this guide to being a man last April. Lets listen to some of the ideals of manhood:

“A man carries cash. A man looks out for those around him — woman, friend, stranger. A man can cook eggs. A man can always find something good to watch on television. A man makes things — a rock wall, a table, the tuition money. Or he rebuilds — engines, watches, fortunes. He passes along expertise, one man to the next. Know-how survives him. This is immortality. A man can speak to dogs. A man fantasizes that kung fu lives deep inside him somewhere. A man is good at his job. Not his work, not his avocation, not his hobby. Not his career. His job. It doesn’t matter what his job is, because if a man doesn’t like his job, he gets a new one…”

You get the idea. The article continued with this insight into a man. While some of the listed qualities are nice, many of them are kinda ridiculous.

Becoming a man, obviously, means many things, you’ve heard some of them today. I’m sure you’ll hear more in the future. And like the article above, some will be ridiculous, while others important. I liked what some of the people here said.

Figuring out what is truth and what is folly is an important part of being a man. Advice from friends or strangers, ads, books, magazines will be ever present. Advice on everything, from cooking, to travel, from being a man to being more in touch with your feelings. Only you will be able to determine what you should listen to and follow. Knowing how to make those choices and decisions is what separates you from childhood.

When you were a young, your mom and I made almost all your decisions for you, but gave you opportunities to make decisions. “Wear this outfit or this one?” “Eat carrots or an apple.” As you got older, bigger decisions were allowed, more open ended. “Karate or Baseball?” Even deciding to go to public school, was a decision we ultimately left in your hands. Now, bigger and harder decisions are yours; Drama class or advanced English? And you’re going to be presented with even tougher ones; to drink alcohol with your friends or leave a party? To stand for what you believe and face hardships or deny what you believe and be accepted. These are all things you, and only you will ultimately decide and the wisdom to make those decisions is what it means to be a man.

I will always be here for you to help make those tough decisions. The men here are all committed to helping you through the tough decisions in life. And most importantly, Jesus stands besides you, His Spirit willing to help guide you. I’m proud of the man you are becoming and look forward to the continued life journey ahead with you. Happy birthday Harrison!

I want to thank the guys who came and shared from their hearts today. Additionally, I want to thank Narineh for the awesome cupcakes. She writes a great design blog at http://traditionallymoderndesigns.blogspot.com/.

I’m sure my kids are no different then yours, next to Christmas and their birthdays, Halloween is a favorite holiday. While the costumes are always fun, let’s face it, what they love is the candy. Lots of candy. Too much candy. Every year the candy haul seems to get larger. Of course, it’s not like we as parents have nothing to do with that. We buy more candy every year to hand out, and take our kids to more parties and more neighborhoods to trick-or-treat in. What started off as a small plastic pumpkin with 20-30 candies, has now become a pillowcase that’s 3/4 full of teeth rotting, sickness inducing, sugary treats.

Again, like most parents, we don’t allow the kids to eat candy before it’s inspected, so it all comes home where it is poured out and given a through inspection to make sure there’s nothing bad in the pile. Yeah, I know, I’m probably a little paranoid. After 11 years we’ve never found anything that needed to be thrown away, but still I don’t think we can be too careful. Once the candy is all spread out, we count them, the tax is set at 10% of the take, so we need to know what the total is. Let’s say it’s 100 pieces.

To make it fair, an important aspect of keeping everyone happy, I allow the kids to set aside 10%, or in this case, 10 pieces, that I can’t take the tax from. This gives them a chance to save the full-size candy bar, or that favorite gummi candy aside and not worry about me taking it. After they’ve pulled their 10, I get to choose 10 pieces that go to The Man as a taxation. Fair, easy and straight forward. Everyone comes out a winner, even the dentist.

Why go through all this when as the holder of the debit card I could just go to the store buy all the candy I want? The easiest answer is, it reduces the amount of candy the kids have, forces them to share, and it give us, the parents, a small variety of candy we don’t often get without having to buy multiple bags. However, it also teaches the kids a little about the way of life. When I come home from work with my paycheck, there’s this line, actually multiple lines, where money is taken out to go to various government entities. It’s a little stretch, and it’s only once a year, but I think it gives the kids a little taste of taxation, that they will certainly experience more of in life.

Are you gonna tax your kids candy haul? Let me know what you think.

Sitting in hospital, he described his arm as wormy, you know, like a worm.

Wormy Arm

He handled the pain and the situation really well. Prior to setting his arm, he was all hooked up to monitors and then they used an interesting drug to put him to sleep for just a short time.

I'm all Hooked Up

It took an amazing amount of the drug, considering that Hayden only weighs about 70 lbs. Not only was he given a decent amount of the drug, but while sedated, he moved a lot. Man, that kid is strong. I helped by trying to keep his legs still, but it was so hard to watch and be part of. I ended up a little flushed and the nurses got concerned I might be the next patient. I sat down after his arm was set and the nurse handed me some oxygen.

When all was said and done, his cast was on and he still had a great attitude. The set looked good in the second x-rays, but we’ll have an appointment with an orthopedist next week to see whats next for Hayden. A big thank you to all the Nurses and Doctors involved today. The ER is never a fun place to be, but it can be made a lot worse by bad doctors and nurses.

Wrapped and Ready

He’ll get a real case next week, so if you’re around, please make sure and sign his cast, I know he’s looking forward to that.