(For Immediate Release)

SANTA ROSA PARK, CA – In a hotly contested battle with Mind Body Elite-ier, the LDDC gave up their bodies in pursuit of a W, but ended up with only bruises to show for it.

The LEVEL bats came out firing, as the LDDC mercy-ruled their opponents by scoring the maximum 6 runs in the inning, and only recording a single out. Mind Body Elite-ier managed to swing the momentum back their way, scoring 5 in the bottom of the second. That’s when things went horribly wrong.

Ted “Blue Dog” attempted to chase down liner to shallow center, but the ball just cleared the tip of his glove on a dead run and caught him squarely in the cheekbone. Like a stud, “Blue Dog” tracked down the ball and got it in to the infield before tending to his injury.

The injury didn’t take the wind out of LEVEL’s sails though, Andrea “McManiac” & Rebecca “Hairbling” teamed up for a ‘web gem’ as Andrea made a lunging stab at a grounder up the middle and flipped to Rebecca covering second to get the runner and end the inning. Mind Body pushed across a few runs in the later innings to put the game out of reach.

Ted “Blue Dog” said of his shiner, “I wear this bruise as a badge of pride in my team. The swelling will go down, but my loyalty to this team never will.”

LEVEL looks to overcome their injuries next week against McGlovin.

(AP)

And yeah, no one likes you Tito.

Ball Hogs Have Problems Hogging the Ball

(For Immediate Release)

Pismo Beach, CA -  There was another sold out crowd gathered at Judkins Arena tonight to watch LEVEL continue their quest for basketball glory.  However, it was apparent that some members of the crowd were confused when entering the arena.  There was a rumor afloat that the gym was hosting a modeling shoot.  The confusion was quickly cleared up when they realized that they were here to see a shooting model.

Kasey “Do They Call This a Zone” came out of the gates with a hot hand, knocking down long range jump shots early and often to give LEVEL a comfortable lead.  It was quickly apparent that the zone defense featured by the Ball Hogs was not up to the task of stopping the high octane LEVEL offense.  Getting into the zone-busting action in the first half were Tom “Chief Executive Offender” and Troy “I Miss My Beard.”  When LEVEL did miss its outside shots, Aaron “The Rebound Baron” was there to clean up the mess.

In the second half, LEVEL showed why some are calling them the best defensive team the league has seen since the late 80s.  The defensive effort was spearheaded by the pestering 30-something backcourt defense of Paul “I Just Took Your Wallet” and Miguel “I Just Took Your Pride.”  A number of steals by the two guards led to easy points on the other end, proving once again that good defense leads to a better offense.  The tough LEVEL defense led to some frustration on the part of the Ball Hogs, causing the Ball Hogs to set a handful of illegal screens late in the game then went uncalled by the referees.  Hank “The Pulsating Forehead Vein” Wethington let it be known that LEVEL did not appreciate the illegality, leading to a quick apology from the Ball Hogs.

Miguel capped off his MVP night by feeding a fastbreak alley-oop pass to Phil “I Believe I Can Fly” that brought the crowd to its feet and the Ball Hogs to their knees.

“When Miguel threw the ball up to me, I didn’t have much time to decide between my 360 and my windmill dunk,” explained Phil.  “I decided to go with my windmill.  Judging by the crowd’s reaction, I made the right choice.”  To see more high-flying antics, you can catch LEVEL play the Stuntmen next week.
(AP)

(For Immediate Release)

EL CHORRO REGIONAL PARK, CA – Playing shorthanded, the Low Down Dirty Cheaters were unable to overcome their burly counterparts, Williams Concrete, or as this impartial writer prefers to call them, “Way Too Good for Coed Lower Division Slow-Pitch Softball.”

The LDDC took the field in the first with only 8 in the field rather than the typical 10, forcing Dustin “Dusteezy” to simultaneously play shortstop and third base. “Angry Rob”, who got the start in Jason “Sneezy Slugger’s” absence, was able to hold them to a single run in the first inning. The LDDC got an equalizer in the top of the second, thanks to great baserunning by “Angry Rob”. That proved to be as close to the lead as the LDDC would come, as the WTGFCLDSPS pounded home run after home run.

The game was not without its highlights, however. Danielle “D Dawg” made the play of the day by fielding a throw in to the infield and slapping the tag on the advancing runner, garnering cheers by all in attendance.

When asked of his team’s chances in the playoffs, “Angry Rob” retorted, “PLAYOFFS?! You’re talking about playoffs?! You kidding me?”.

LEVEL looks to rebound against Mind Body Elite-ier next week.

(AP)

(For Immediate Release)

Oceano, CA -  The stands were abuzz at the Oceano Arena as LEVEL took to the floor to open the second half of the season. After losing Justin to post high school enlightenment, there were concerns that mid-season acquisition Paul’s skills didn’t quite fit the current team dynamic, and like the Miami Heat, it may be a few years before LEVEL could find it’s way back to the championship game. However, it took all of 5 minutes for LEVEL to get a return on their investment as Paul led a fast break off of a defensive steal that started the “REPEAT” rally cry.

While Paul and Miguel shared the point guard duties, Kasey was free to slash and burn his way to the basket where he mopped up whatever Splash Down could dish out. Kasey’s offensive dominance clearly made the case tonight why he’s considered the favorite for this years MVP. Not to be forgotten, Miguel quietly ended up with the play of the night; a no-look pass to an open Paul for 3. Replays were still playing on the arena jumbo-tron as the crowds left the building.

Defensively, LEVEL has to be happy. The starting five should be called “Fort Knox” as Splash Down didn’t get their first field goal until almost 5 minutes into the game. Aaron continues to frustrate the leagues big men as he vacuums up rebounds while dealing out blocked shots, while Tom smothers opposing players causing turn overs and bad shots.

With so many highlights from the starting five, it would be easy to dismiss LEVELs bench. 6th Man of the Year candidate, Phil killed it tonight with fast break after fast break point.  Meanwhile, “Wolf pack of One” Troy scares and pesters the opposing team into mistakes while grabbing any rebounds that Aaron leaves behind.

“Sure, this first win is important, but we need all of them to get back to the championship game,” noted Tom. “It was a good game, right now we need to focus on next weeks game, nothing more.” For next weeks game, LEVEL faces the Ball Hogs.

(AP)